Sunday, November 15, 2009

An anti-american disciple

I began my research as I always do: go into the heart of the city and work my way outward. I always assume that any sort of political disdain will come from the center and radiate out, rather than the other way around. And so I went to the food court found directly in the center of the town. And there I found a disciple, and anti-patriot disciple who provided me real insight into why this American city can so hate people who love America:


In order to protect his identity he simply wanted me to quote him as Tom Brady... so I have transcribed the interview below:

Me: So, why this anti-American...
Tom Brady: Wait, wait, wait... are you really going to say that this is Tom Brady saying these things?
Me: If that is your pen name I see no reason why not.
Tom Brady: So if I just say 'I'm a huge fucking douche' it'll say 'Tom Brady admits he's a huge fucking douche.'
Me: Yes.
Tom Brady: HAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS AMAZING! Alright, go ahead and ask me.
Me: Why this anti-American sentiment?
Tom Brady: I'm Tom Brady and I smoke thousands of cocks.
Me: I see... is that it, an anger against Barack Obama for not getting rid of don't ask don't tell.
Tom Brady: Yeah... I'm Tom Brady and I'm pissed about that because I'm so gay.
Me: Interesting... I must admit it strange, I didn't expect the anti-Patriot sentiment to be because of a anger towards homophobia.
Tom Brady: MY NAME IS TOM BRADY! I'M SO GAY!
Me: Fascinating.

Amazing development... I never would have thought that this dissent would emerge from an anger against social issues in America... Indianapolis is truly a strange quagmire in Middle America.

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